Tag: Honesty

Today’s Word Is COURAGE

Thu-Jul-9-2020

“It often takes more courage to change one’s opinion than to stick to it.” – Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742-1790) Physicist and Philosopher

Sometimes you need to change your opinion and sometimes you need to stick to it. A great feat of maturity is to learn when and how to do both. Many people are out of balance and are far better at one than the other.

At one extreme are folks who are good at making decisions and sticking to them … but pride will not let them admit they might be wrong … thus they lack the courage to admit a mistake or to change their opinion. From the perspective of others, it is hard to respect someone who will never change their mind. Why do people remain adamant and unchanging? Sometimes they are bullies. It may also be to avoid intimacy in relationships. Never changing your mind is a good way to keep people at a distance or under control.

At the other extreme are those who are humble and honest enough to admit their mistakes … but often will fold easily when challenged about an opinion they truly believe in … thus they lack the courage to stick to their opinion. From the perspective of others, it is hard to respect someone who wavers on nearly everything. Why do such folks as these give in so easily? It might be fear of conflict or failure, possibly a poor self-image, not understanding who they are in Christ. But again, it is also another way of avoiding intimacy in relationships or of having the need to protect oneself.

Jesus had a better way … a way that requires courage, honesty, and humility.

“But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” – Jesus (Matthew 5:37)

Making yes be yes, and no be no, is in one sense about removing the playing of emotional games from our conversations. It is much more enjoyable to converse with someone who does not have a hidden agenda. It works well when both have the courage to be honest … honest about their true convictions, but also courageous to admit when they need to change their mind about something.

(If you believe there is nothing you ever need to change your mind about, your name would be “God” … just sayin’ … don’t mean to sound harsh. None of us has perfect theology or doctrines or opinions or knowledge. Surprise, surprise.)

The takeaway is this … ask God for what you need.

If you need courage to stick to your opinion … ask God. (Many folks who need the courage to be bolder are painfully aware that they need it and perhaps too afraid to try it.)

If you need courage to admit when you are wrong … ask God. (However … Many folks who need the courage to be humble are blissfully unaware that they lack humility or are too proud to try it.)

Choose to be balanced, to be able to say equally well, “I’m right this time,” or “I’m wrong this time.” This requires courage, honesty, and humility. Making it more complicated than this involves offering excuses for our behavior, and is, as Jesus said, “from the evil one.”

It takes courage to be honest, bold, and humble all at the same time!

Chaplain Mark

(NOTE: If you are in a relationship where the other person is virtually always right and certainly never wrong, and where you feel the pressure of conformity, this is a red flag. Seek some godly advice from a trusted pastor or friend.)

Today’s Word Is BROKENNESS

Mon-Jun-29-2020

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” – King David (Psalm 51:17)

The first place to start is this … everybody needs fixing. I need fixing. You need fixing. The list of perfect people is not very long, there has only been one name on that list … ever.

The second thing is this … you can’t get fixed until you admit you are broken. This is a problem. Who wants to admit they need help? But we are like a broken watch in need of the watchmaker.

King David wrote some very wonderful poems. He was a wise man. He was a warrior and conqueror extraordinaire. But, he had a thirst for power and a lust for women. (You can read that story in 2nd Samuel Chapter 11.) His attraction to Bathsheba led to adultery, followed by a plan to get rid of her husband so that no one would find out.

The prophet Nathan cornered David into a discussion and confession. David was brash and gutsy, but he knew from history that if you are guilty, you don’t challenge God or one of his prophets. It will not end well.

So he hit his knees, and admitted his brokenness.

It is amazing and sad how many people will not do the simple thing of confessing their wrongdoing, admitting their brokenness, taking on a contrite attitude, and asking God to forgive and restore. By the way, when I say “they,” I really mean “me” first. People sometimes revere pastors and spiritual leaders, but we are not exempt.

I once saw a woman get a new start on life by forgiving her sister for something done 30 years before. (She was waiting for the apology that was never coming.) I have seen an adult daughter reconcile with her mother over something that happened as a teenager. I have seen two employees look at each other with a contrite heart, and both simultaneously say, “I’m sorry.”

Feeling broken may seem like a bad thing, but if it is acceptable and even desirable to God, then it really is a very good thing. Having worked as a hospital chaplain, I have seen many patients trying to be their own doctor, instead of listening to those who know how to heal. By the same token, I have also seen many people trying to be their own spiritual doctor instead of listening to God or the wise counsel of a spiritual leader.

It is human nature to take a different approach than humble confession. One way we do this is just to deny the problem. Another is to make excuses for why we think we were justified in our sin or failure. And yet another is to defiantly think we should just be let off the hook. Court cases end up like this sometimes … the accused pays a penalty without admitting wrongdoing. For David, this was not going to happen.

If we can’t admit our wrongdoing, we won’t get far in our faith journey. A song by Micah Stampley, called “Take My Life,” starts out … ”Holiness, Holiness is what I long for; Holiness is what I need.” A later verse adds, “Brokenness, Brokenness is what I long for. Brokenness is what I need.”

God mends broken people, but first comes admitting we are broken. A good posture for this is on our knees, hands out, eyes looking up to God. At this point, tears often come. And then begins the healing and restoration. Get used to this. It will come again and again as you get washed more and more. The 51st Psalm was written by David during the Bathsheba experience. Verse 2: Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. Verse 7: Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Clean on the inside, that’s what God wants to do.

Broken and Blessed!

Chaplain Mark

Today’s Word Is TRUTH

Thu-Jun-25-2020

This coming Sunday marks the 4th anniversary of the death of well-known Tennessee Women’s Basketball Coach Pat Summitt. Her premature death was due to early onset Alzheimer’s Disease. If you recall, I quoted her just recently in a devotion called “Today’s Word Is Team.”

Here is another great quote from Coach Pat Summitt:

“The absolute heart of loyalty is to value those people who tell you the truth, not just those people who tell you what you want to hear. In fact, you should value them most. Because they have paid you the compliment of leveling with you and assuming you can handle it.” – Pat Summitt

If you are going to value those friends who tell you the truth, you will need to value yourself first. And you can do that because God values you first and most.

If you do not accept and value yourself, you will not be able to …

  • Properly value those who are honest with you,
  • Handle the truth when it is painful,
  • Speak the truth to others without flinching,
  • Care about and value friends enough to speak the truth openly.

The Apostle Paul talks about “speaking the truth in love.” It takes maturity to do that. Some folks think that they should just “tell it like it is,” but end up leaving a trail of wounded people. While others think that their job is to soothe people, to the extent that they don’t “level” with anyone because it might “hurt” them.

Somewhere in the middle of that is “the way.” If someone who cares about you tells you a painful truth, then as Coach Summitt says, they have actually paid you a compliment … they believe in you, that you can hear what is difficult to hear and be able to “handle it.” And not just be able to handle it, but to be inspired by it, challenged to change, to grow, to improve, to succeed. And as Coach Summitt also says, if you can find someone who will treat you that way … both truthful and caring … you should value that person with your loyalty.

“… but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ …” – Apostle Paul (Ephesians 4:15)

As Paul points out, Jesus was the best at doing this … at speaking truth, and at loving others. It should cause us to want to “grow up” to be like Jesus, who is the head of our faith.

Carry this thought with you always … “Speak the truth in love.” You will know you are fulfilling this Scripture when you can do this without unnecessarily hurting others while you love them enough to speak to them the truth they need to hear.

Sometimes people get hurt by the truth. But hurt is not always a bad thing. It is through processing the hurts in life that we grow. They will make you “bitter” or “better” … your choice. But our reaction need not be to blame the person who had the courage to tell us the truth we needed to hear. Rather our response should be to turn to God in humility and ask how we may use this opportunity to grow forward into Him.

Good stuff!

Chaplain Mark

NOTE: The BEMA Podcast is a great Bible Study tool from a Messianic Jewish perspective, which I highly recommend. It is a long-term study which will increase your understanding of the Scriptures in a new and deeper way. You can also get it on your other devices by going to the Google PlayStore or Apple App Store.