I once had this conversation with a co-worker …
ME: You’re very smart.
THEM: No. Not really.
ME: I’m smart. I made straight A’s mostly.
THEM: Yeah, so did I.
ME: Then you’re pretty smart.
THEM: Well … hmmmm … Okay.
It’s okay to say you’re smart or talented in some way, or whatever your characteristics are, in an honest and humble way. It’s part of having a good, healthy, and accurate view of yourself. Many of us were taught not to compliment ourselves because it sounds like “bragging.” Often our solution is to belittle ourselves as a way of ensuring that we don’t think too highly of ourselves. It took me 40-plus years to stop this bad habit.
The Bible talks about how you should view yourself.
“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” – The Apostle Paul (Romans 12:3)
A “sober judgment” means a correct evaluation. This means you should not think “too highly” nor “too lowly” of yourself. Now who do you think has the most “sober” or accurate evaluation and opinion of you? Well … It’s God, of course.
You should agree with God and his opinion of you. He knows your value, your potential, your strengths, your weaknesses. For some of us, it is a great discovery to learn that “God thinks of me more highly than I thought He did!” God is for us, not against us. (See Romans 8 below.) So, if someone has told you that God thinks poorly of you … that’s a lie. If you think you should deny your strengths as a way of being humble, consider that this is a form of false humility, and not at all biblical. Instead, affirm who you are and the gifts you have been given, and then delight in using them for God’s purposes.
In addition, don’t bemoan your weaknesses. Everyone has them. Accept them. Improve on them when you can. This is all part of agreeing with God about who you are and who you are to become. And if you can agree with God about the total you, there will be greater peace, and probably more smiles.
If you still are going to have a hard time with this God-centered view of yourself, then let me add this. Once you are saved, there is no condemnation against you. There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. (Romans 8:1) Only those who are denying God or refusing Christ should fear condemnation.
Once you are born again, there is no issue that will cause God to reject you. You are his adopted child, an heir to the Kingdom. Every objection you have to your new position of worth in Christ, every struggle to accept your high value in his eyes can be answered by this … God our Father loves you, Jesus loves you, Holy Spirit loves you. You are loved, loved, loved. However much you think God loves you, it is more than that! Receive it. Return it. Stop any practice of self-condemnation and reject any tendency to expect punishment. God may discipline, but he does not punish those who are his. Smile and relax when you consider the amazing and wonderful love God has for you.
Agreeing with God about who you are is a good thing. Thinking that God is against you is not. No one can take your God-given value away from you. “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31) Please don’t take as long as I did to internalize that and live with joy and freedom. If you truly do this, it will not create arrogance but humility and peace.
Have a blessed day,
Chaplain Mark