Tag: Maturing

Today’s Word Is AGING

It’s Humor Day!
Fri-Mar-20-2020

OK … I know most of you are not as old as I am, so here is a taste of what’s coming. These are hymn titles for the aging …

Top 10 Hymns For Senior Citizens …

#10 – Precious Lord, Take my Hand, And Help Me Up

#9 – It is Well with My Soul, But My Knees Hurt

#8 – Nobody Knows the Trouble I have Seeing

#7 – Amazing Grace, Considering My Age

#6 – Just a Slower Walk With Thee

#5 – Count Your Many Birthdays, Name Them One by One

#4 – Go Tell It on the Mountain, And Speak Up

#3 – Give Me that Old Timers Religion

#2 – Blessed Insurance

#1 – Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah, I’ve Forgotten Where I Parked My Car

Does anyone else identify? Or maybe you know someone who does … your mom, dad, grandparents? Whatever your age, growing older is not for wimps! Do you have the heart and wisdom to age gracefully?

As a pastor, I have seen my share of bitter senior citizens. They can tell you their long list of everything that ever went wrong, and all about their present level of dissatisfaction. But their joy has been stolen!

Thankfully there are many, many older folks who have a better outlook. We can learn a lot from those who have this spirit of love, encouragement, joy, and wisdom.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. (2nd Corinthians 4:16)

Throughout the ups and downs of life, I have found something positive about every stage and every age. I do my best to enjoy where and who I am now; and I look forward to the next age. I think that’s how God wants it to be. If we can laugh at ourselves at any age while still taking life seriously, we will find the joy God intended.

Moses was a hundred and twenty years old when he died, yet his eyes were not weak nor his strength gone. (Deuteronomy 34:7)

Have a blessed, restful, and joyful weekend,

Chaplain Mark

Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these?” For it is not wise to ask such questions. (Ecclesiastes 7:10)

Today’s Word Is FOLLOW

Thu-Mar-19-2020

Several years ago, my friends Harry and Belinda sold their house in an upscale East Brainerd neighborhood and purchased a farm across the mountain. Harry had grown up on a farm in Middle Tennessee, so this move was a return to a familiar life and a closeness to the land. He now has “100 head of cattle.”

Harry told me one time, “It doesn’t work for me to drive these cattle into a pasture. If I am behind them trying to force them in a certain direction, they go every which way. But if I get out in front, they will all follow me around anywhere.” The same could be said about flocks of sheep, which are depicted in artwork as following a shepherd toward a new pasture. And this is how the life of faith works … following.

As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man called Matthew sitting at the tax booth; and he said to him, “Follow me.” And he got up and followed him. (Matthew 9:9 NRSV)

There is an excellent group study by Henry Blackaby called Experiencing God, which you should definitely experience. One of the principles he teaches is to watch what God is doing and then participate. Too often we get involved in what may be good things, and then ask God to help us. But the life of discipleship should have a different approach. Instead of asking God to “bless what we are doing,” it is more in line with the teachings of Jesus to “do what God is blessing.”

For instance, suppose you want to start a prison ministry, but find it hard to get organized and recruit volunteers. This goes on for a while with minimal progress, and you are constantly praying to God for help and direction to make this work. Meanwhile, there are teenagers at church or among your friendship connections that seem to have an affinity toward you. They ask you questions and seem to trust you. Maybe God is trying to tell you something. If you are paying attention, you would see that God is working on teenagers in your presence, while you are spending your time trying to start a prison ministry. It would appear that God wants you to mentor teenagers, not prisoners.

Pay attention to what God is doing, and then follow. Let him lead you. You and I are the sheep. We don’t need to be out front, leaving the shepherd behind. The notion of “I did it my way” that is glamorized in a popular song sounds alluring, but it is self-centered. My version of that song would go more like, “I did it my way, and messed things up!” I would rather sing it like this, “I did it God’s way, and amazingly it was much better.” That ought to be obvious, or as Homer Simpson would say, “Well, Duh!”

It is not really our job to figure out what to do, or even to figure God out. It is our job to follow him and to watch what he is doing and do that! … Follow … Watch … Join.

Blessings,

Chaplain Mark

Today’s Word Is LAUNCH

Wed-Mar-18-2020

“You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” – Christopher Columbus

Well, we know what Mr. Columbus did. It would probably be the most exciting but also the most anxious day of one’s life to push away from the shore of the known and head for the unknown. Remember that Christopher Columbus did not rush into this; it took time. He listened for his dream, took years to prepare, and finally launched! So, if you want to get beyond the ordinary, and embrace what God has next for you, that’s what you must do … push off from the shore and embark on the adventure.

Many years ago, as I was reading the seven books called The Chronicles of Narnia for the first time, I embraced the idea that the Christian life is not so much lived by rules as it is a great adventure. Various seasons of this life start with a calling, a God-given dream, an idea, or a high purpose. Preparation is necessary, but as in the case of Columbus, at the moment you launch, there is still a great deal of uncertainty about how all this will work out.

Under the leadership of Moses, the Israelites, who numbered about a million people, were being led by God into freedom from slavery in Egypt. They headed out on foot but soon reached a decision point. There was a mountain on one side, the Red Sea on another, and the Egyptian army behind them in hot pursuit. So, they did what any normal person would do … they cried out to God! … Help! … Even the leader cried out for help!

And the Lord said to Moses, “Why do you cry to Me? Tell the children of Israel to go forward. But lift up your rod, and stretch out your hand over the sea and divide it. And the children of Israel shall go on dry ground through the midst of the sea.” (Exodus 14:15-16)

Do what?! You’re kidding! No, God was not kidding. He accomplishes his purposes. Our part is to listen and act.

God has many dreams for you throughout life. Sometimes it is enormous and intimidating, and it may last a season or a lifetime. Other times it may be something small or simple. Whatever your next one is, don’t be afraid to leave some things behind and launch at the proper time. God, who called you to it, will open the doors (part the sea) and guide you.

There is an interesting combination of emotions when you say “yes” and launch yourself into it … sadness perhaps to leave certain things behind … a twinge of healthy fear something like the first time you swam in water over your head … but also a great excitement that there is a fulfillment awaiting that will outweigh any hesitation you may have harbored. To cross an ocean, you must leave the shore.

One last thought … this doesn’t only apply to big decisions. There may be something simple that you have been putting off. You may have a 99% commitment and a 1% hesitation. You could relieve yourself of this weight by proceeding. Ready, set, go.

Have a blessed day!

Chaplain Mark

Today’s Word Is NOURISHED

Tue-Mar-17-2020

If you were promised that all your physical needs (food, clothing, shelter) would be taken care of for the rest of your life, it would still not guarantee that you would be happy or fulfilled or have no worries.

Lots of us, including myself, have at some point in life fallen into thinking that what we need is enough money to meet our basic needs and pay our bills, and then we could stop worrying. However, such is not the case. When those surface needs for survival are pushed aside, underneath is a great longing to be accepted and to feel like our life is worth something to others.

And deeper still within us is that place that can only be filled by the love, grace, and Spirit of God, offered by Grace and received by Faith. This is the foundation. No amount of emotional or physical provision will stand throughout life unless built on God our Rock. Jesus spoke in Mathew 7:24 about building a house on Rock or Sand. For those who built on Rock, when the storms came, “it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.” But if built on Sand, “it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

Sometimes God makes a miraculous provision of our surface needs in time of drought and desperation to remind us that we should rely on his grace as the provision for our deepest needs in our inner being. While traveling through the desert for 40 years, the Israelites of the Old Testament encountered several times of crisis where food, water, or safety was in short supply. For one period of time, God supplied “manna,” which was an unusual substance like bread that would appear on the ground in the morning. Free food! Along with the following reminder …

“He humbled you and let you be hungry, and fed you with manna which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that He might make you understand that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of the Lord.” (Deuteronomy 8:3)

What goes into our mind and our heart is far more important for “living” than what goes into our stomach. Sometimes God will miraculously get us through some bad times by supplying food, money, or other provisions. What he wants to teach us is to trust him, and to seek deeper nourishment than just food.

At the beginning of Jesus’ ministry, he went through temptations in the desert, and during those 40 days he fasted (nothing to eat). So, Satan tempted him to turn stones into bread. (I’m sure some of those rocks were in the shape of a nice freshly baked loaf of homemade bread.) Jesus resisted by quoting the above passage of Scripture from Isaiah … We do not live by bread alone, but by God’s Word.

Keep yourself spiritually nourished … this is one of the keys to “really living.” You have deeper needs than the physical, or the money, or being surrounded by convenience. Your soul, your heart, and your mind all need God-designed nourishment.

Blessings,

Chaplain Mark

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. (Psalm 18:2)

Today’s Word Is FRAGILE

Mon-Mar-16-2020

How do you handle people who seem to be fragile? It is tempting to tell people who can’t deal with their problems to just “get over it.” There might be a handful of people for whom that works, but that approach is rarely effective. So, let’s consider two types of fragile people.

First – there are some folks who are always fragile; it’s a way of life, and a method of avoiding further hurt. It takes great commitment to help this kind of person without “enabling” their negative behavior. Usually this kind of person needs more help than we can give, and perhaps we should seek outside wisdom.

What they “say” they need is “a little help.” What they “actually” need is “inner healing” in a profound way. This idea sounds extremely frightening to them. They may get angry or hurt if you won’t give them, once again, a small dose of help. Their best hope is with a person who loves and is committed to them enough to find them some serious help. Counseling would be good. In a spiritual sense, they may need inner healing from a ministry that is equipped for it. Celebrate Recovery helps with addictions. Sozo ministries, Formational Counseling, and other ministries like them can help facilitate amazing emotional healing from God. I was involved many years with The Order of St. Luke the Physician and saw many people receive life-changing inner healing.

If this sounds like you or someone you know, and you are unsure how to proceed, please contact me.

Next … there are also folks who are temporarily fragile, such as during a hospital stay, or following the death of a loved one, or any number of other crises. It might also describe someone who has dealt with a difficult situation for a long time and is getting extremely weary and discouraged or close to falling apart. Sometimes this extends to the whole family, as all may be suffering and fragile. But these would be folks who normally seem to “have it together,” and who could get back on their feet through the love of Jesus and the assistance of their family and God’s family. For people such as this, we can apply the words of Isaiah the prophet, who said this about the coming Messiah Jesus … “A bruised reed He will not break, and a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish…” (Isaiah 42:3)

Being honest with people about their situation is necessary of course, but we can also be mindful that there is sometimes very little capacity remaining for dealing with their condition. In this sense, we are dealing with people who are like “bruised reeds” or “dimly burning wicks.” It is quite an art to help people deal with stress and hurt and to assist them with healing, while simultaneously caring for their personhood in such a way that we do not break their spirit or extinguish their hope. It is worth developing the ability to accomplish this.

Remember, we will occasionally run into one of those “always fragile” people who resist help. But many others will respond positively to our ability to get them through this present difficulty, even in their fragile state. And perhaps they will gain strength, wisdom, and maturity because of it, even to the point of gaining a passion to help others like you have helped them.

If you are one of those dimly burning wicks or bruised reeds, tell someone that you trust. Tell them that you are willing to listen, and that you need someone to walk with you. Find a friend, a chaplain, a pastor, a counselor, someone wise and trustworthy. If you have been thinking about this … then don’t put that off any longer. There is hope. Life can be better.

And if you know of a friend, co-worker, or family member who is “fragile” but won’t say so – then however gently you must do it, offer them some hope and support.

Blessings,

Chaplain Mark

Today’s Word Is DEATH

Tue-Mar-10-2020

I have suffered the loss of a dear pastor friend this past week, and two weeks before that, sat with a couple whose wedding I performed a year ago, as they suffered the loss of a child after 24 weeks of pregnancy. Death is not a fun subject, but it must be discussed at some point. I frequently deal with death and tragedy. It is heart-rending to sit with a mother whose son has just died from an overdose, or with a husband at the bedside of his wife who just took her final breath, or with a couple whose child expired before being born. Sometimes there just are no words, and the only thing to do is to be present and, if necessary, to remind folks that God is also present.

There are many people who haven’t prepared to deal with death and dying. All of us know that we will deal with it eventually – either the death of a loved one – or facing our own death. Medical personnel want to help us work toward healthy progress and avoid serious physical issues. But they also know that we must stay prepared for life-threatening emergencies. I have seen a trauma team assisting a patient while at the same time trying to help a friend or family member who faints, panics, freezes, or falls apart during emergency response. I have occasionally seen the same thing at funeral homes, where a room full of mourners contains a few who are screaming, arguing, or out of control.

There is a fine line here. Death brings out intense emotions. It is natural and normal. The question I am posing today is whether there is a way we can prepare ourselves for our own death or the death of another. My answer is “yes … sort of.”

The best and only method I know of that works is the faith method. My faith journey has involved going deeper and deeper into the love of God. Whenever I think I have figured out how much God loves me – it turns out there’s more. This creates a peace so profound that panic, stress, and anxiety can’t survive very well, because God is gradually removing the negative soil of fear that these hurtful emotions grow in and is replacing it with the fertile ground of his love, which tends to produce better fruit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23)

In my experience, people of the Christian faith (of which I am one), on average seem to handle death and tragedy better than those whose faith is non-existent or shallow at best. And those Christians who mature farther, who draw closest to God, and closest to healthy, sincere, wise, loving believers – in other words they are practicing their faith – these are the ones who do not panic or lose control when death is imminent or a reality. My siblings and I stood beside our father’s bed for the last few hours of his life. We sang his favorite hymns and told stories of his serious and humorous moments.

Can we be prepared? The reason that I said above – “yes, sort of” – is because even if we are mature and grounded enough to deal with various difficulties in life, death events still impact our emotions deeply. Tears are normal, loss is heavy sometimes. When a death occurs it is OK to say, “I was prepared, but I wasn’t prepared.”

It has been said of the statesman Hubert Humphrey that he “taught us how to live well, and he taught us how to die well.”  To do so ourselves, we can affirm that God will be there for us in our time of need. If it is our own death, God can comfort us through it. If it is the death of another, we can receive assurance that God will hold us in our future, so that when a moment of loss comes, we don’t have to panic as if to conclude, “What am I going to do? I am lost. I can’t go on.” We may “feel” lost and unable to go on, but even though we may not want to go on past this loss, the Spirit will speak into our hearts that we can go on because of him.

“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)

I am thankful for readers who have ventured forward in faith and who help others make it through difficulties.

But, I also want to speak to someone who realizes that you are probably just treading water in the spiritual pool, someone who realizes that you probably aren’t prepared for handling tragedy, someone who needs to let God take you on a faith journey, sort of like a rafting adventure, to get out of the pool and into the river, to get tossed about a bit, to fall overboard a couple of times and experience God lifting you back into the boat, and thus learn that he will not let you sink. It’s an adventure in faith-building. If you are this person, hold tightly to God. If you know someone who is like this, encourage them to go deeper in faith and trust.

And later, when tragedy or death comes along, we will not panic. We will trust. Sadness, yes – destroyed, no.

“…If God is for us, who is against us? … Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? … No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, … nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:31 selections)

I’m living by faith, even in the worst moments!

Chaplain Mark

Today’s Word Is GRUMBLE

Mon-Mar-9-2020

“Do all things without grumbling or disputing …” – The Apostle Paul (Philippians 2:14)

I’ve done my share of grumbling, however it’s not very effective in the long run for me. I may end up getting what I “say” I want, but I may also lose some things that I wanted more – like friendship, harmony, and favor.

A very long time ago my wife and I were headed to the car after the church service, being one of the last handful to leave. A long-time church member was standing in the parking lot gazing at the back building, a wooden structure which housed the fellowship hall. He stopped us long enough to point at that there were three dead ex-Christmas trees discarded at the side of the building. (It was now February.) “This,” he said, “is a fire hazard!”

A couple in our Sunday School class was also walking to their car near us and overheard the comment. They paused and the husband looked at me. It was like our minds simultaneously knew what we were going to do. We didn’t miss a beat, as we strode over to the back building, grabbed the 3 trees, and dragged them about 50 yards away to a patch of woods, where we allowed them to join their other dead tree friends that were lying there crumbling away.

We turned back toward the parking lot, not looking at the grumbler, and joined our wives who had watched the scene unfold. We headed to our cars, waved and drove away. The grumbler was still standing there as if this didn’t turn out quite the way he had hoped – which would have been getting some mileage out of a perfectly reasonable grumble.

Was he right to point out the hazard? Yes. The problem he carried with him every Sunday at church was that he had the reputation of being a grumbler. Being friends with a grumbler is difficult, unless you are another grumbler, in which case you seem to feed off of each other. Such a reputation can be fixed – by repentance, seeking God’s help, making a sincere effort to change, and asking others to forgive you. It is my hunch that many Christians don’t start out being grumblers, it just develops over time in certain people. Thus, we should be on our guard.

“And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body.” – The Apostle Paul (Colossians 3:14-15a)

The Apostle Paul knew that the grumblers in the church worked against unity. They drive away hungry and sincere people who come to visit looking for a home church, but attract other legalistic people like themselves. The love of Christ softens our hearts and keeps us and our church at peace.

Have a blessed and grumble-free day,

Chaplain Mark

Today’s Word is HEARS

It’s Humor Day!
Fri-Mar-6-2020

At the end of their third date, a young man takes his favorite girl home. Emboldened by the evening, he decides to try for that important first kiss.

With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, “Darling, how about a goodnight kiss?”

Horrified, she replies, “Are you mad? My parents will see us!”

“Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?”

“No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?”

“Oh come on, there’s nobody around, they’re all sleeping!”

“No way. It’s just too risky!”

“Oh please, please, I like you so much!!”

“No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can’t!”

Out of the blue, the porch light comes on, and the girl’s sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. In a sleepy voice the sister says: “Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he’ll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud, we’d all like to go back to sleep, so tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!”

Oops! I suppose in a moment like that, you would prefer not to be heard by everyone in the house!

It is good to know who is listening. And who is it that is always listening? God is.

“But know that the Lord has set apart the godly for himself; the Lord hears when I call to him.” (Psalm 4:3)

This also means that he is always with you. Some will ask, “If God is always with me and always hears me, then why doesn’t he fix the things that bother me?” Life with God doesn’t work like that. He uses wisdom and timing to guide us. He wants us to grow, mature, and increase in wisdom and strength. Yet he does not want us to feel alone and unsupported.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Many of our relationships are like this. We want to be heard and to know that we are not alone. Most of the time what we really need is the presence and listening ear of others, not fixes.

Today, be glad that God always hears you and is always with you. His divine presence is the very thing we need the most.

Blessings!

Chaplain Mark

Today’s Word Is HELP

Thu-Mar-5-2020

Some people just won’t ask for help. Unfortunately, there are many folks who, like me, have been at a stage where they love to give help but resist receiving it. I still love to help, of course. But I am doing much better with the receiving part. I still have flashes of self-sufficiency and pride, but I finally reached a point where not only am I willing to ask for help, I actually enjoy getting help! That’s a big leap forward.

Why would we resist asking others for help? It could be that we don’t want to be turned down. Rejection is a normal part of life and something we must learn how to accept without getting hurt or becoming angry.

Resisting help can also come from a feeling that we don’t want to be a burden to others. However, surely we can learn how to have a healthy exchange of helping each other without the sense of taking advantage of someone or being taken advantage of. Furthermore, there is also a need at times for someone to assist with our burdens for a specific reason or season. After all, the Apostle Paul tells us to …

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

A third reason for refusing help is that some folks just want to control everything. As Dr. Phil would say, “How’s that working for ya?”

And finally, some folks make the excuse that they “don’t take hand-outs.” What do you think that is? Pride, maybe? God gives lots of “hand-outs”! And God’s people like to hand out blessings as well. Maybe we should just say, “Thank you!” Always refusing help will, in effect, rob other people of the blessing of giving.

Asking for help … does not imply that you are deficient as a human being.

Asking for help … is not a sign of weakness.

Asking for help … lets others know that you do not think too highly of yourself.

Asking for help … is a good way to make friends.

Asking for help … is OK.

Never asking for help … is equivalent to opposing God … especially if our resistance to accepting help is rooted in pride.

“Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” – The Apostle Simon Peter (1st Peter 5:5b)

There is a balance to learn regarding giving and receiving help. Excessively asking for help can be irresponsible and irritating and will keep us from learning skills and maturing in wisdom. Never asking for help (and even adamantly refusing what help is offered) is a sign of arrogance or pride and will keep us from developing healthy relationships.

Find your “middle” ground where you and those around you can graciously assist one another …

Ask for help at the right times.

Offer help at the right times.

Enjoy the benefits.

Blessings,

Chaplain Mark

Today’s Word Is CRITICISM

Wed-Mar-4-2020

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.” – The Apostle Paul (1st Timothy 4:12)

At age 19 at the beginning of my junior year in college, I became the pastor of five small rural churches. It was a “circuit” … meaning I would go to a church and preach at 9:00 AM, then jump in my car and preach somewhere else at 11:00 AM. I would go to certain churches on the 1st and 3rd Sundays of the month, and others the 2nd and 4th.

These people liked me a lot, and I liked them. I worked very hard on my messages. But several years down the road I glanced back at some of my old sermon notes. They were not outstanding, and in fact, I thought to myself, “This is terrible!” I said some worthwhile things, but mostly I was astonished at how poorly written they were and at some of the illustrations I came up with.

Then … this revelation came to my mind … these people didn’t like me because of my great sermons, they liked me because I was “me.” I cared about them. I visited them in the hospital. I ate Sunday dinner in their homes. I was sincere and sympathetic. I had the energy of a young person and the desire to make a difference, so they overlooked my poor preaching and lack of wisdom and maturity. Thankfully, only a small minority were frustrated at me because I was young, and yes, there were some.

People may look down on you for lots of possible reasons. You’re too young, too old, too boring, too moody, too organized, too unorganized … or … you make decisions too slowly, you make decisions too hastily, you have too many emotions, you aren’t emotional enough, you’re an introvert, you’re an extrovert, etc., etc., etc.

You would like to hope that people wouldn’t be so critical, but they are. In the above Scripture passage, Paul is putting the initiative on Timothy to solve the problem … “Don’t let anyone look down on you…”

That goes for you and me as well. Paul doesn’t mean for us to go around correcting other people’s critical attitudes and comments. There will always be someone to criticize us. But here’s what he is saying … that we do not have to “receive” that criticism. Instead of trying to fix critical people and resent them until they quit, we should do the healthy thing … don’t get angry, or resentful, or offended … just say, “I don’t receive that judgment into my mind, my heart, or my spirit.”

Once those judgments and criticisms are released, it is amazing how peaceful and joyful life can be. We can actually get along better with critical people, and even love them more, because we have ceased allowing the hurt to enter our spirit.

Blessings,

Chaplain Mark