Tag: Discouragement

Today’s Word Is DISSATISFACTION

Thu-Jun-18-2020

Over the years the disagreements between my wife and myself have gradually diminished to very few occurrences. And hurray! … we have been happily married for 35 of our 37 years of marriage! The first two years we had a hard time adjusting! Our disagreements during that period were almost fatal, until in a moment of breakthrough, we realized we were actually on the same team and should proceed with that in mind. Whatever skirmishes we have had since then were mostly minor and often humorous. But I can recall a day about four years ago when we hit a bump. Each of us was dealing with our own bothersome health issues, plus some other stresses such as moving to a new home.

Today in our marriage, bad days are fairly infrequent for us, and when they occur it usually works out that the one doing OK supports the one having the bad day. But … on that particular day we decided (not really) to each have our own bad day on the same day … and express it forcefully! Such times can cause intense feelings of dissatisfaction. During the first couple of years I occasionally thought I should just leave, and although I’m afraid to ask (LOL), I’m fairly sure she had the some thought a few times. (Or maybe quite a few times … gulp!)

Have you ever been involved in something in which you reached a point of being ready to leave … “I’ve had enough” … “I can’t continue this”? In the Bible (John chapter 6), the great multitude of followers of Jesus were having a rough time with some of his “difficult” teachings, to the point that many of them decided to leave.

John 6:66 sounds like a bad number … and it is … From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. (John 6:66)

The “chosen” twelve disciples must have been struggling with the same inner conflict, and Jesus asked them if they, too, wanted to leave. But the disciple Simon Peter blurted out a gem of a confession at this point.

“You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” (John 6:67-68) Now that is an amazing, Holy Spirit inspired declaration!

Back to my story … For both my wife and I to be tired, cranky, and emotionally upset on the same day seemed like an enormous challenge, one which might have made us question if we could keep going. Frankly, this had probably been building for quite a few days. What do you do when this happens? As people of faith we can learn something from Simon Peter about what is the right question to ask. If we look to the God of our faith and into our inner being, the truth is obvious. After all, that same belief, foundation, attachment, and love that we have (and the disciples had) with Jesus, is also true for us in our marriage.  … “Where would I go?” … and we know the answer … “You are the one.”

Many people give up on faith, marriages, jobs, friends, etc. because they jump without considering the question, “Where would I go?” That’s worth thinking about. Is there something you are about to give up on? Obviously, some things need to be abandoned, but in the case of faith or marriage or other things that God has a plan for, we need to ask, “where would I go?” The Holy Spirit reminded Simon Peter that the best place was right where he was, with Jesus, despite the struggle, questions, and doubts.

A few times in various circumstances of my life, I have jumped when I shouldn’t have. We all have done that. Dr. Phil would gladly jump in and say, “And how’s that working for you?” And the answer is … it’s not.

Sometimes dissatisfaction gives us the chance to realize and affirm that we are where we are for a reason.

Blessings,

Chaplain Mark

Today’s Word Is BUILD

Thu-Jun-11-2020

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” (1st Thessalonians 5:11)

Suppose you have an area of your life where you want to “get better” or “get well.” You have been inspired by some person or event, perhaps a book you have read, a sermon you heard, a difficult experience you faced. You believe God is calling you higher, toward spiritual and emotional health, toward greater faith, deeper peace, higher joy.

So, being inspired you put better things into practice in your life. You start going back to church … or you quit a bad habit … or you apologize and fix a broken relationship … etc.

Then you discover that your choice to “get better” has caused some other person to have difficulty adjusting to the “new you.” That’s because all of us are part of a system of relationships. The basic ones are family connections, and some families are healthy to various degrees while others are perhaps slightly or severely dysfunctional. The same is true for friendships, co-workers, church family, or neighbors.

To the point … There is a theory in family systems that when one person improves, another person sometimes gets worse! That person begins to act out in negative ways. The more dysfunctional the family system, the more likely this is to happen. And why would someone get worse in response to your getting better?? … Because they want things to go back to the way they used to be. They have lost some feeling of importance perhaps. Their reaction is a temper tantrum of sorts.

Suppose, for instance, that you decide to start going back to church. And someone in your family tells you that “we always have family dinner at grandma’s house every Sunday at noon, and now you have messed that up! You’re causing a problem for the rest of us. See how selfish you are!” Any number of decisions could affect others in ways they resent.

They may even react so negatively that they become angry or spiteful. This behavior makes you think they are getting ready to wreck their life … or wreck your life … or damage the whole family. You consider abandoning your plan to improve your life and going back to the way things were. You say to yourself, “This was a bad idea. I had no idea so-and-so would be against it. I don’t want to hurt their feelings or lose their friendship, etc., etc.”

But you should consider that if you give up, you are in effect giving that person control over your life, even your faith life. You may realize that this person actually has control over the whole family system. They use their switching between good and bad behavior to manipulate and control everyone else.

Everyone’s situation is different, of course, but in general this is a time in your life to stick to it. If this is God-inspired, then you can go ahead with the plan, but also step up your love and encouragement of this person. Trust God for strength and believe that you will make it, and that the upset person will finally adjust, perhaps even improve just like you did.

As believers it is our job to encourage people in these situations and to build them up. So if someone is being bullied back into regression or belittled for trying to improve, it is our privilege and a command from the Word to “go to bat” for that person. Speak up. Offer encouragement.

And if you’re the one who needs the encouragement, a good thing you can do for yourself is to make it easy for others to support you, by being open. Don’t give up on the “better” things God is calling forth in you. He will provide a way for your future. Turn the naysayers over to God. He can help them better than we can anyway.

Blessings,

Chaplain Mark

Today’s Word Is MOTIVATION

Mon-May-11-2020

Compassion for others can be a great motivator, and that might be why you are working in a certain profession, or why you are involved in your church’s efforts to help others, or why you are driven to be on the lookout for someone to assist. The drawback to being motivated by the compassion in your heart for those in need is this … it can end up in “burn-out.”

Without sufficient “thank you’s” – without enough successes –  and because of untimely or distressing failures – we can sometimes find ourselves ready to quit. And our moments of discouragement like that can begin to occur more frequently. We might begin say to ourselves, “I’ve had enough,” or “This isn’t working.” We could just be gradually wearing down and wondering when we will cross over the line into saying, “I can’t do this anymore.”

Compassion, while necessary, cannot permanently stand alone as a motivator. Compassion both “empties our tank” and “fills our tank.” The time and energy we expend, which drains us, can be somewhat counterbalanced by the joy and satisfaction of seeing people get well, and of finding fulfillment through our work. But sooner or later, the drainage factors win, or the frustration of dealing with difficult people becomes too much, or we run into barriers or opposition to the good things we are trying to do. When this happens, and our tank gets low, we may be tempted to just hang it up  – unless there is another source of inspiration and energy that doesn’t depend on how successful we are at maintaining a positive attitude.

Here is a truth … The only long-term, sure-fire way of operating with sufficient and even excessive mental, emotional, and physical energy is to have a source other than just feeling good about helping the people we serve, or feeling fulfilled in our calling, or gaining respect and success.

From my perspective, the combination of the love of God, the work of Christ on the cross, and the comfort and power of the Holy Spirit is the only sufficient source in all the world to sustain us when our motivation is at a dangerous low. This love, affirmation, and encouragement from God is the emotional fuel that we require. When our motivation for our work is rooted in Him, we have an unfailing source that works equally well whether we are in a season of successes or in a moment of failure.

This is what the Apostle Paul meant when he said, “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Colossians 3:17) We may be doing works of compassion, and we may care deeply about those whom we serve, but the motivation for doing them cannot simply be our desire to help.

So, I describe the deeper truth this way – “Yes, I am doing this because I care about you.” But underneath is a deeper motivation, that “I am doing this for Jesus and in His Name.” My ability to care about people has limits. My compassion can be tested sometimes and may begin to slide. But the compassion of Jesus has no limits. In the words of the Steven Curtis Chapman song, “His strength is perfect when our strength is gone. He’ll carry us when we can’t carry on. Raised in His power, the weak become strong. His strength is perfect, His strength is perfect.” (Based on 2nd Corinthians 12:7-10)

If you are relying on yourself, your successes, or even encouragement from friends to keep you motivated, eventually there will come a time when it won’t be enough. God doesn’t just want us to “survive,” he wants us to “thrive.” God alone can supply unlimited motivation. The other support we receive will be icing on the cake.

Have a blessed day,

Chaplain Mark

Today’s Word Is PERCEPTION

Wed-Apr-29-2020

A few years ago, one of my colleagues at the hospital was reading my daily devotional about the word PEACEMAKER. But being in the cardiology department where “heart talk” is common … well, let’s just say that this person mistakenly read the title as “Today’s Word Is P-A-C-E-MAKER.” How funny!

Think about it … sometimes you can “see” something that is not there … and fail to see what really is there. For instance, back in the early 1990’s, while pastoring in Brainerd, I had thick, curly hair … yes I did. It was not natural, but I was getting it permed for a period of six years. Years later, after I was back to my normal short, dark (but greying) hair, I would occasionally run into people from that church in public … and they didn’t even recognize me! I would say, “It’s me … Mark … remember? … your pastor?” And their eyes got wide as it dawned on them that it was really me.

This misperception also happened on the Sunday of Jesus’ resurrection. Several disciples were meeting together in the upper room, trying to sort things out. This included not just the “eleven” disciples, but other close followers. There were reports of angels and resurrection from the women and decisions by Peter and John to go check it out at the tomb.

Somewhere in that confusion, waiting for answers, two of the followers, one of them named Cleopas, decided to get started on the 7-mile journey to their home in Emmaus for the night, not knowing yet if Jesus was really alive. Little did they know that Jesus had two important appearances he wanted to make before he headed to the upper room to see the disciples. First was to see the two Mary’s, and then on toward the road to Emmaus to catch up with the two men on the road, who had left the meeting early, and were dejected. “[They] were talking with each other about all these things … [and] Jesus himself drew near and went with them. But their eyes were kept from recognizing him.” (Luke 24:15-16)

I believe we all have those times when we are so shocked, so hurt, so distraught and puzzled, frozen with disbelief at the turn of events, that we cannot for the moment get ourselves to think straight. In this kind of moment, Jesus showed up … unexpectedly. Most of you know the remainder of this story, so instead of repeating it here, I will place it at the bottom of this page. In short, the two men were telling this stranger that they had hoped Jesus was the “One,” so Jesus told them the prophecies and teachings they needed as reminders.

It is so, so, so important for us to know the story, the truth, the Word, as thoroughly as possible. And if we do, just as Jesus came to those two men, the Holy Spirit will come to us to remind us. Let us not be one of those who survives on a-sermon-a-week … or a-class-a-week at church. We must “study” the Word, know the story, the ways of God. Then, the Holy Spirit can use the storehouse in us to lift us up.

When you are struggling, as the two men going to Emmaus were, it is easy to miss what is there or fail to perceive what is real. If something puzzles you or creates doubt in you, it might just be a matter of perception. Someone else might see things differently. Don’t be afraid to ask. And don’t be afraid to believe something spiritual or miraculous in nature (like a resurrection!) when your earthly perception thinks it can’t be true.

And finally, I remind you that this blog has two goals … for God to bless you through me and for God to bless others through you. This is the principle of “blessed to be a blessing!” As well as being blessed today, how can we bless someone else?

What do you do if one of your coworkers, friends, family, or others are distracted by a personal issue, such as despondence or frustration? They might not see the obvious and need you to come alongside them and remind them of God’s story in their lives. Jesus didn’t criticize the disciples for their failed perception. He just spoke truth for a while as they were walking, and finally their eyes were opened.

By the way … I love that moment when the two disciples recognized Jesus at their home while he was “breaking the bread” at their table. I wonder if they immediately thought back to walking with Jesus, and wondered, “How did I not know it was him?” (I’ve said things like that … you have too.) And then the clue they missed came into their minds … but of course … “Our hearts burned within us!” Jesus’ presence was setting us on fire inside … I need to remember that … He was with me and I didn’t perceive it!

May you perceive with clarity!

Chaplain Mark

The Gospel of Mark Mentions the Walk to Emmaus (Just after Jesus sees Mary)

Mark 16:12 After these things he appeared in another form to two of them, as they were walking into the country. 13 And they went back and told the rest, but they did not believe them.

The Walk to Emmaus

Luke 24:13 That very day two of them were going to a village named Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem, 14 and they were talking with each other about all these things that had happened. 15 While they were talking and discussing together, Jesus himself drew near and went with them. 16 But their eyes were kept from recognizing him. 17 And he said to them, “What is this conversation that you are holding with each other as you walk?” And they stood still, looking sad. 18 Then one of them, named Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?” 19 And he said to them, “What things?” And they said to him, “Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, a man who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, 20 and how our chief priests and rulers delivered him up to be condemned to death, and crucified him. 21 But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things happened. 22 Moreover, some women of our company amazed us. They were at the tomb early in the morning, 23 and when they did not find his body, they came back saying that they had even seen a vision of angels, who said that he was alive. 24 Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but him they did not see.” 25 And he said to them, “O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! 26 Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?” 27 And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.

28 So they drew near to the village to which they were going. He acted as if he were going farther, 29 but they urged him strongly, saying, “Stay with us, for it is toward evening and the day is now far spent.” So he went in to stay with them. 30 When he was at table with them, he took the bread and blessed and broke it and gave it to them. 31 And their eyes were opened, and they recognized him. And he vanished from their sight. 32 They said to each other, “Did not our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, while he opened to us the Scriptures?” 33 And they rose that same hour and returned to Jerusalem. And they found the eleven and those who were with them gathered together, 34 saying, “The Lord has risen indeed, and has appeared to Simon!” 35 Then they told what had happened on the road, and how he was known to them in the breaking of the bread.

Today’s Word Is DISCOURAGED

Tue-Apr-28-2020

“Disappointment is inevitable, but discouragement is a choice.” – Dr. Charles Stanley

We have every reason to be disappointed sometimes, as we are human, and disappointment is a natural emotion. But we do not have to let disappointment become discouragement, because faith in God makes discouragement avoidable. Do you believe the Scripture and the promises of God? Then you have a constant source of encouragement from the Holy Spirit, plus more from others who care about you.

The French word for “heart” is “couer,” and this relates directly to the words encourage and discourage.

Encouragement … means having “heart” put into you.

Discouragement … means having “heart” taken out of you.

In the Kingdom of God, no outside force can overpower the Spirit of God that is within you and remove all the “heart” from you. Your heart is Spirit-filled to be motivated and empowered.

But … we do get discouraged sometimes, so why is that? It starts with being disappointed, and that is natural and happens to everyone. But then … we have a choice … am I going to focus on the problem and “allow” (give my permission) for this disappointment to take some “heart” out of me … or will I lean into God and let him put more “heart” into me?

You will overcome a great hindrance to your faith and growth if you will accept the fact that … as Charles Stanley points out … discouragement is a choice. We see the obstacles and get scared, rather than seeing God and taking courage.

As Americans we have been somewhat conditioned to think that we can’t help being the way we are. If you think about it, this is equivalent to giving up control of ourselves and letting the world and circumstances turn us into what they want to. Yes, we have basic personality characteristics which remain with us throughout life. But the truth is that regardless of what we are like today, we can change by submitting ourselves to God and allowing him to transform us. God does his part and we do ours.

We can undergo this transformation by not choosing discouragement at times of disappointment. Jesus endured far greater disappointment and suffering than we ever could. So, think of him, as the Scripture says …

“For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.” (Hebrews 12:3)

In times of disappointment we can catch ourselves and make a declaration  … “I may be disappointed by what has happened, but I will not get discouraged, because my God is bigger than my problems.”

Look around. Sometimes you can see the discouragement in someone’s eyes or body language, hear it in their tone of voice, or sense it in their attitude or conversation. My tendency earlier in life was to think that the way to help them was to solve their problem so the disappointment goes away, and the discouragement is avoided. But if we are always fixing the problem, they are not learning how to keep disappointment from becoming discouragement. They are learning that God is not the solution, the “fix” is the solution.

This is not to say that I should never help anyone. But I do have a responsibility to ask myself, “Am I pointing people toward Christ or toward me?” Is there someone who needs your encouragement today? Take the time. Put some “heart” into them.

Have a blessed day!

Chaplain Mark