Dealing with Problems Archives — Page 3 of 4

Today’s Word Is HELP

Thu-Mar-5-2020

Some people just won’t ask for help. Unfortunately, there are many folks who, like me, have been at a stage where they love to give help but resist receiving it. I still love to help, of course. But I am doing much better with the receiving part. I still have flashes of self-sufficiency and pride, but I finally reached a point where not only am I willing to ask for help, I actually enjoy getting help! That’s a big leap forward.

Why would we resist asking others for help? It could be that we don’t want to be turned down. Rejection is a normal part of life and something we must learn how to accept without getting hurt or becoming angry.

Resisting help can also come from a feeling that we don’t want to be a burden to others. However, surely we can learn how to have a healthy exchange of helping each other without the sense of taking advantage of someone or being taken advantage of. Furthermore, there is also a need at times for someone to assist with our burdens for a specific reason or season. After all, the Apostle Paul tells us to …

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

A third reason for refusing help is that some folks just want to control everything. As Dr. Phil would say, “How’s that working for ya?”

And finally, some folks make the excuse that they “don’t take hand-outs.” What do you think that is? Pride, maybe? God gives lots of “hand-outs”! And God’s people like to hand out blessings as well. Maybe we should just say, “Thank you!” Always refusing help will, in effect, rob other people of the blessing of giving.

Asking for help … does not imply that you are deficient as a human being.

Asking for help … is not a sign of weakness.

Asking for help … lets others know that you do not think too highly of yourself.

Asking for help … is a good way to make friends.

Asking for help … is OK.

Never asking for help … is equivalent to opposing God … especially if our resistance to accepting help is rooted in pride.

“Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” – The Apostle Simon Peter (1^st Peter 5:5b)

There is a balance to learn regarding giving and receiving help. Excessively asking for help can be irresponsible and irritating and will keep us from learning skills and maturing in wisdom. Never asking for help (and even adamantly refusing what help is offered) is a sign of arrogance or pride and will keep us from developing healthy relationships.

Find your “middle” ground where you and those around you can graciously assist one another …

Ask for help at the right times.

Offer help at the right times.

Enjoy the benefits.

Blessings,

Chaplain Mark

Today’s Word Is CRITICISM

Wed-Mar-4-2020

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.” – The Apostle Paul (1^st Timothy 4:12)

At age 19 at the beginning of my junior year in college, I became the pastor of five small rural churches. It was a “circuit” … meaning I would go to a church and preach at 9:00 AM, then jump in my car and preach somewhere else at 11:00 AM. I would go to certain churches on the 1^st and 3^rd Sundays of the month, and others the 2^nd and 4^th.

These people liked me a lot, and I liked them. I worked very hard on my messages. But several years down the road I glanced back at some of my old sermon notes. They were not outstanding, and in fact, I thought to myself, “This is terrible!” I said some worthwhile things, but mostly I was astonished at how poorly written they were and at some of the illustrations I came up with.

Then … this revelation came to my mind … these people didn’t like me because of my great sermons, they liked me because I was “me.” I cared about them. I visited them in the hospital. I ate Sunday dinner in their homes. I was sincere and sympathetic. I had the energy of a young person and the desire to make a difference, so they overlooked my poor preaching and lack of wisdom and maturity. Thankfully, only a small minority were frustrated at me because I was young, and yes, there were some.

People may look down on you for lots of possible reasons. You’re too young, too old, too boring, too moody, too organized, too unorganized … or … you make decisions too slowly, you make decisions too hastily, you have too many emotions, you aren’t emotional enough, you’re an introvert, you’re an extrovert, etc., etc., etc.

You would like to hope that people wouldn’t be so critical, but they are. In the above Scripture passage, Paul is putting the initiative on Timothy to solve the problem … “Don’t let anyone look down on you…”

That goes for you and me as well. Paul doesn’t mean for us to go around correcting other people’s critical attitudes and comments. There will always be someone to criticize us. But here’s what he is saying … that we do not have to “receive” that criticism. Instead of trying to fix critical people and resent them until they quit, we should do the healthy thing … don’t get angry, or resentful, or offended … just say, “I don’t receive that judgment into my mind, my heart, or my spirit.”

Once those judgments and criticisms are released, it is amazing how peaceful and joyful life can be. We can actually get along better with critical people, and even love them more, because we have ceased allowing the hurt to enter our spirit.

Blessings,

Chaplain Mark

Today’s Word Is STRENGTH

Tue-Mar-3-2020

After you have made it through a tough time, a stressful deadline, a challenging crisis, or maybe just made it through the day, hopefully you get a chance to relax and breathe a sigh of relief. Maybe you begin to reflect on how this all worked out, what you learned, and where the strength came from. As believers, we should know that giving ourselves the credit doesn’t really tell the whole story.

Listen to King David after a victory against an enemy:

I love You, O Lord, my strength.

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,

My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge;

My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,

And I am saved from my enemies. (Psalm 18:1-3)

When King David says, ”I am saved from my enemies,” he means the battle is over and we won! Yes, we. Through it all, the Lord is our rock, our fortress, and our deliverer.

How good are you at giving God the credit? It is much easier to quickly acknowledge and thank him when we have started out confiding and trusting in him, asking for guidance in the morning and throughout the day. I have made much progress over the years, but I still sometimes find myself seeing a problem or opportunity and just taking off with my own solution. Carrying on that day-long conversation is a great habit, which can keep me from being too hasty and disregarding my greatest source of strength. Then when the job is complete, problem solved, success achieved, victory won – I am more prone to give thanks to God my Father for the strength.

A famous Budweiser commercial shows a young colt alone in the barn beside the huge wagon that the older horses pull as a team. He steps under the harness, puts his neck in place and tries to pull. At first it doesn’t budge. He pulls harder – then suddenly the carriage moves forward, and he starts walking!

Obviously, he is thinking – wow, I’m really doing it! Then the camera angle widens and you see that the wagon is being pushed from behind by one of the huge Clydesdales, which I take to be his Dad.

So it is with you and me. Whether small or large, the things we accomplish are made possible by the God who is helping far more than we often give him credit. It is actually by his strength that we accomplished anything.

“I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” – Jesus (John 15:5)

Give thanks and give credit,

Chaplain Mark

Today’s Word Is MISUNDERSTANDING … Plus Friday Humor

Fri-Feb-28-2020

Poor Leroy had fallen on hard times. He lost his job at the fertilizer plant, his wife had left him, his unemployment had run out, and he was evicted from his apartment. He packed what little he had in a knapsack, made a little sign that read “Will work for food,” and set off down the road on foot.

Toward the middle of the day, he came to a farmhouse. He was getting very hungry, and so he knocked on the front door. A woman answered, and Leroy explained his situation, and how he could do most anything and how hungry he was.

At first the woman wanted no part of Leroy, but he persisted. Finally she asked, “Can you paint?”

“Oh yes, ma’am,” Leroy said, “I sure can paint. I’ve done a lot of painting. Just let me show you.” The woman relented, found a can of paint and a brush and said, “You can go around back and paint the porch, and I’ll fix you some dinner.” Happily, Leroy went to work.

About 40 minutes later, Leroy appeared at the front door. “Are you finished so soon?” asked the woman. “Oh yes, ma’am,” said Leroy, “but I think you ought to know that it’s not a porch, it’s a Volvo.”

Misunderstandings can definitely create problems. I have dealt with many people who come to wrong conclusions about God because they do not understand his nature, his purposes, and his ways.

Isaiah tells us this about God’s “ways”: “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:9)

The Bible is best understood by someone who has made a commitment to Jesus as personal Savior. We make this profession of our faith based on our belief that God is a loving God, and that he provided a way for forgiveness, salvation, and freedom through the death and resurrection of his one and only Son, Jesus Christ. If ever there is a question about God’s ways and the events of our lives, we fall back on that basic belief, God is good and loving.

The story of Job in the Bible is one of suffering, as he loses his family and wealth, and thus falls into despair. How does anyone who experiences such tragedy interpret the ways of God? Well, in the process of trying to figure this out, Job has three friends who come with advice.

The first is Eliphaz (Job Chapter 4), who makes a long speech, essentially telling Job that he must be guilty of something because the innocent do not suffer such things. Job struggles with this idea, but contends that he can’t think of anything, and even if he could, it still doesn’t make sense. He wants to know why he was picked out for this.

Then comes Bildad (Job Chapter 8), who confounds Job further by asserting that God rewards good people, and therefore Job is mistaken about something. Job again mulls this over and is even more frustrated.

Finally, his friend Zophar (Job Chapter 11) gives Job a tongue-lashing rebuke, claiming all this happened because Job’s heart is not right with God.

Does any of this sound familiar? The problem with many people is that once something terrible and seemingly random strikes them, they abandon their basic assumption that God is good and loving, and has provided salvation, hope, forgiveness, and peace. Instead they assume that God is vengeful, capricious, and unfair.

To avoid adopting a misunderstanding of who God is and what he intends for us, we need to stick with that beginning assumption that brought us to Jesus. We should not come to the false conclusion that God does not love us. There must be another interpretation for the difficult events of life. We cannot let the enemy use them to lead us toward distrust and despair.

Ending today’s devotion this way seems to leave us hanging, with lots of questions for which a long discussion would be in order, but that is too much to cover today. Suffice it to say, in the long-run, sticking with our Father God, his Son the Savior, and the work of the Holy Spirit is the only approach that leads to life at its best … and certainly the only way that leads to life eternal. Like Job, we should continue the search and God will provide the answers.

Have a blessed weekend, including rest, family, and worship,

Chaplain Mark

Today’s Word Is PEACEMAKER

The Steps of Christian Maturity
Beatitude #7
Peacemaking – Becoming Partners with God
Wed-Feb-26-2020

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. – Jesus (Matthew 5:9) (Beatitude #7)

Buckle your seatbelt. This is a biggie! This is the central Beatitude regarding fulfilling your purpose.

A peacemaker is someone who has “gone into business” with God. If you are following the steps of Christian maturity in the Beatitudes … humility, release, genuineness, ready for more, merciful, and being purified … you are now to the point where you claim your purpose, your calling.

In the old western shows, you might see a sign in town called Smith Hardware. But when Mr. Smith’s son grows up and goes into business with his dad, Mr. Smith has his sign remade so that it says Smith & Son Hardware. The father is the founder of the business, but the son speaks for him by an impartation of the father’s authority.

This is what God wants for you, to be in business together with him … the Kingdom business … the peacemaking business … the God business. You have been told that God is with you everywhere you go, and you probably thought of this as a form of comfort and protection. It certainly is that, but it is far more than that. You are God’s transporter and presence in the places he wants to go. It is God & Daughter, or God & Son, heading into any and every situation to do Kingdom business!

It’s like this … when YOU show up … that means GOD shows up. When you walk into a room, you change the atmosphere. When you show up and say, “I’m here to help” … the clear implication is “God’s here to help!” … because you are his partner in the Kingdom business.

“Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us …” – The Apostle Paul (2^nd Corinthians 5:20a)

Let’s talk about the “peacemaking” business. First, there is a difference between a “peacemaker” and a “peacekeeper.”

A peacekeeper is interested in peace and quiet … A peacemaker is interested in peace and progress.

A peacekeeper is willing to do anything to stop the disturbance. (Such as repeatedly solving the same crying child problem by saying: “Give him a piece of candy and he’ll be quiet.” … Which ends up being a temporary solution that is creating a long-term problem of another sort.) … A peacemaker is not willing to let a disturbance detain him or her from getting to the root of the problem.

A peacekeeper looks for options to appease certain people, which often serves to unfairly punish, frustrate, or alienate others. … A peacemaker looks for an equitable long-term solution that involves sacrifice and benefits on both sides.

A peacekeeper is sometimes afraid to confront selfish or unfair people. … A peacemaker “speaks the truth in love” to all parties. (Ephesians 4:15) These solutions may seem too hard to accept for one or both of the parties in conflict. Truth can very often offend someone.

As an example, think of Jesus and the woman caught in adultery (8^th chapter of John). To her accusers he said, “He who is without sin cast the first stone.” And to her, he offered forgiveness, but then added, “Go and sin no more.” He was kind and yet firm with both parties and pointed them both to their better future. It takes “guts” to do that. If you watch the TV show “Blue Bloods,” then you can see that Police Chief Frank Reagan is the peacemaker.

The role of peacemaker is not easy, but it bears the marks of integrity, truth, and godliness. Such a person is stepping into the highest levels of Christian maturity, wisdom, and respect.

AND NOW … HERE’S THE WHAMMY … Once you reach this stage of Christian maturity, you are operating at full steam in the Power of the Holy Spirit. You have overcome the fear that Satan has used to hold you back from making a difference. And being unafraid of Satan’s tactics, knowing that he is already defeated, you can say with conviction and confidence … “I USED TO HATE IT WHEN SATAN SHOWED UP, BUT NOW SATAN HATES IT WHEN I SHOW UP!”

This is not a form of self-promotion. It requires maintaining that humility you started with in Beatitude #1. And it is a declaration of your determination to accomplish Kingdom business and to give the glory to God!

You can do it!

Chaplain Mark

NOTE: If you have not read the previous articles about each Beatitude, you should scroll further down and read previous days’ entries and catch up. We are discussing the faith journey toward Christian maturity as described by Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount.

The Beatitudes … Matthew 5:2-10 (NRSV)

2 Then he began to speak, and taught them, saying:

3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

5 “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.

8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

Today’s Word Is RIGHTEOUSNESS

The Steps of Christian Maturity
Beatitude #4
Hungry for More
Thu-Feb-20-2020

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” – Jesus (Matthew 5:6) (Beatitude #4)

I am sorry that “church” over the last 100 years has misled people in some things, has been too judgmental, and has in some ways caused average people to think that the practice of faith is boring and intended to suppress your enjoyment of life. Nothing could be further from the truth!

I dislike the word “religious” as it gives a connotation that by acting a certain way, we can earn our way into heaven or into favor with God. No one can live a “good enough” life that would impress God into granting heaven or any other special privilege. God does not want us to “practice religion,” he wants us to live in “relationship” with him, and through this we receive righteousness as a gift.

You see, the church has also failed to adequately explain “righteousness” in the Christian life, by inaccurately implying that it is about doing good, being good, acting good … or about being holier than thou, better than others, whatever … for the purpose of proving our worthiness. Nope … doesn’t work. Righteousness in the New Covenant made by the death and resurrection of Jesus is a gift, not something earned or achieved.

If you recall the first 3 steps (Beatitudes) I have discussed …

>> Blessed are the poor in spirit … humility, asking God to take over

>> Blessed are those who mourn … releasing things not good for us

>> Blessed are the meek … embracing the genuine self that God made us to be

… Then having experienced these things, we discover that in this process, things at the “big picture” level begin to “go right” in life. Really, they do. There will still be disappointments and tragedies, but we look at them differently now. They are not fatal. We learn from them and overcome them. Everything that is delightful as well as everything that is difficult all seems to fit together, and it is good.

All of us have said at one time or another … Things are not going right!!!! Well, as you walk the steps of maturing as Jesus describes them in the Beatitudes, relinquishing to God the job of being in charge of yourself, and by accepting yourself, liking yourself, experiencing the love of God, life is now “going right” … not perfect, but blessed … to the point that you are hungry and thirsty for MORE things to go right! You want things in your life to continue falling into place, believing in God’s plans for you, as he opens new doors of adventure.

Righteousness is not about rules or perfection. It is a gift bestowed on those who believe in Jesus. We don’t have righteousness of our own, so he gives us his! It is about living life oriented to the Kingdom of God instead of the kingdom of this world.

As you live this Kingdom way of life, you want things to go God’s way, to open up the flow of love in and around you, to experience peace that leads to joy and laughter, and an understanding of how “all things work together for good.” This is not a shallow, giddy, “head-in-the-sand” existence that ignores the tough parts of life. Rather it boldly and bravely faces every low moment, enjoys every high experience, and proceeds with confidence into whatever adventure is next. It makes you think, “This is the best life there is!”

And the reward for pursuing this new “genuine” life is that your hunger and thirst for its blessings are fulfilled!

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” – Jesus (Matthew 5:6) (Beatitude #4)

Be blessed!

Chaplain Mark

NOTE: Scripture Reference: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

NOTE: If you have not read the previous articles about each Beatitude, you should go back and catch up. We are discussing the faith journey toward Christian maturity as described by Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount.