If you are angry or upset with God or disappointed in him, perhaps you should go ahead and say so directly to him. He already knows, but still wants you to say it. He can deal with it and still love you. Nothing you or I can say is going to knock God off His throne or cause him to forsake or abandon us.
In a movie entitled The Apostle, Robert Duvall stars as a charismatic Pentecostal preacher named Euliss F. “Sonny” Dewey. Sonny has some quite interesting prayer time discussions with the Lord. One evening company dropped by to visit his home, where he lived with his mother. Sonny could be heard upstairs carrying on with a raised voice, and so the guest asked his mother what this was all about. “That’s my son, that is,” Momma says. “I’ll tell ya: ever since he was an itty-bitty boy, sometimes he talks to the Lord and sometimes he yells at the Lord. Tonight, he just happens to be yellin’ at him.”
Eventually, if we contend with God long enough, we will have to face the fact that his nature is not going to change. And neither is he likely to change His approach when we are caught making “demands” rather than “requests.” You might point out that Jacob wrestled with an angel and “demanded” a blessing, which he did receive. But also remember that he walked with a hip out of joint and a limp from then on. When we contend with God, the condition of our heart is revealed. Some of us who think we are reenacting Jacob’s wrestling match and demanding a blessing may actually just be having a temper tantrum. There is a difference … one God-centered … the other self-centered.
As we contend with God, He will love us and love us some more and love us even more, even though we are dissatisfied with the unfair things that happen to us. We do the same thing with our children, don’t we? Sometimes, when there is a great disappointment or hurt, the only thing we can do is hold the child until they are comforted by our arms of love and their heart connects to ours.
And so it is with God when he comforts us. But what shall we expect if we proceed with a lengthy temper tantrum (sometimes measured in years) in which we are trying to outlast God and force Him to act like we want Him to? He is fully capable of outlasting us every time, until we come to Him humbly and say, “I need You.” His desire to grow us up through difficulties into full maturity works in tandem with his desire to comfort us, and both have their place.
It is interesting how a child who finally gives in and lets themselves be comforted by us, can so quickly “feel better” and jump up to the next activity. And so with us, once past our stubbornness, it is sometimes amazing how quickly we see the way forward and He works things out for us … his way.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 28:11-13)
Blessings,
Chaplain Mark