Some people just won’t ask for help. Unfortunately, there are many folks who, like me, have been at a stage where they love to give help but resist receiving it. I still love to help, of course. But I am doing much better with the receiving part. I still have flashes of self-sufficiency and pride, but I finally reached a point where not only am I willing to ask for help, I actually enjoy getting help! That’s a big leap forward.
Why would we resist asking others for help? It could be that we don’t want to be turned down. Rejection is a normal part of life and something we must learn how to accept without getting hurt or becoming angry.
Resisting help can also come from a feeling that we don’t want to be a burden to others. However, surely we can learn how to have a healthy exchange of helping each other without the sense of taking advantage of someone or being taken advantage of. Furthermore, there is also a need at times for someone to assist with our burdens for a specific reason or season. After all, the Apostle Paul tells us to …
“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)
A third reason for refusing help is that some folks just want to control everything. As Dr. Phil would say, “How’s that working for ya?”
And finally, some folks make the excuse that they “don’t take hand-outs.” What do you think that is? Pride, maybe? God gives lots of “hand-outs”! And God’s people like to hand out blessings as well. Maybe we should just say, “Thank you!” Always refusing help will, in effect, rob other people of the blessing of giving.
Asking for help … does not imply that you are deficient as a human being.
Asking for help … is not a sign of weakness.
Asking for help … lets others know that you do not think too highly of yourself.
Asking for help … is a good way to make friends.
Asking for help … is OK.
Never asking for help … is equivalent to opposing God … especially if our resistance to accepting help is rooted in pride.
“Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” – The Apostle Simon Peter (1st Peter 5:5b)
There is a balance to learn regarding giving and receiving help. Excessively asking for help can be irresponsible and irritating and will keep us from learning skills and maturing in wisdom. Never asking for help (and even adamantly refusing what help is offered) is a sign of arrogance or pride and will keep us from developing healthy relationships.
Find your “middle” ground where you and those around you can graciously assist one another …
Ask for help at the right times.
Offer help at the right times.
Enjoy the benefits.
Blessings,
Chaplain Mark
Amen! Thank you!